Why Being The Full Version Of You Is The Direct Path To Your Success
When I started “The Love Specialist” work, I didn’t claim that name — it was given to me by people who wanted to work with me, and it stuck. At first, I felt off about the title because I felt my chosen label (A Love Specialist) wasn’t honoured, but over time, I realized it was what this world wanted to hear me say about my work: I’m not a type of specialist — I am The Love Specialist.
Even before then, I didn’t identify myself over the work. I only named the program “Love Able”; I was on the sideline. This said a lot about my own personal value. And now, today, it has revealed why I met so many setbacks that misaligned with the growth and truth I wanted to see manifest in my life: how can I call in the life I know I’m meant to live if I disable myself from claiming my truth — in its most exalted form — and embracing all parts of me; all the gifts I’ve cultivated that enrich my path ahead, that keep my foundations solid?
I say this after spending some time applying for Creative Director jobs to help bring in supportive income, and as I refresh my portfolio. When I decided to turn my life around — meaning, to change it and grow it into a version that is more loving and full of life — I thought I had to separate parts of myself to be more “understandable” and “digestible.” I had a belief system (one that works for so many others) that told me I wouldn’t succeed if I were fully myself — because all of me is too much, too confusing. I held that belief system, hoping it would support me as it seemingly did for other successful people in the world, only to my detriment and inevitable burnout — the failure of aligned recognition and success.
After a lengthy chat with some of the women in this household (I’m staying in an Airbnb), I felt a calming presence. I was speaking to other successful women who were sharing their own stories of challenges, heartbreaks, and downfalls — and in the midst of it all, I saw how radiant they were, how much they shine because they stood up for what they believed in, simply: their life. Even in those moments of loss, when it felt like everything was taken away and we didn’t know if we could make it, it was the spirit and soul of our humanity that reminded one another that we can see through the challenges — that we are all in this life together, showing one another that there is beauty and light in our lives, whatever the season.
We drank some water, some coffee, shared some laughs, some cries (on my end), and we were surrounded by loving parents clearing out the space for us. We shared our hopes and prayers and wishes for one another and said, “see you soon.” It may seem simple — just basic human interaction — but when the heart, spirit, mind, and body are open to nourish the soul, it is in these most profound moments of life that everything holds together. To see that life is so valuable, and that not all hope is lost. We rescue one another with our small, seemingly unconscious and brave acts of kindness — to others, and most especially, to ourselves.
I quickly turned back to my laptop, completed the remaining applications, updated my artist statement — and then felt a call to write this piece. In realization. The missing piece I had been so hard on myself about — the piece I felt was denied to me, the piece I thought was the key to my success, the piece I feared I was too stupid or lost to know, the piece I believed I was unable to acquire, the piece I was afraid wasn’t meant for me — was me. My art.
All this time, as I shift into this new work in personal development — knowing it’s not really new to me, just new to the outside world — I see that my instability wasn’t only about the lack of support, but also that I wasn’t supporting my greatest gift: the evolution of my artistry. I didn’t need to create separate brands or businesses, because I am not separate from myself. My art sustains the architecture of my life. My life studio is the love of my personal development expertise. Together, love and life exist and create harmony.
This is where I land — on more solid ground. Not because someone gave me the right to be here, or invested in my wellbeing, but because I advocated for it. Because I braved the unknown. Because I chose to champion the quality lifestyle and embody my love in the ways I always hoped someone would. I am just blessed that God has empowered me to be that person.
For years now, on my path to radical self-love, I’ve said to people: “The quality of my work is dependent on the quality of my wellbeing,” and “It’s a privilege to love me.” I bravely say this to everyone — especially to the people, places, and circumstances that make me question my values. This doesn’t present me as a perfect person, contrary to what limited minds might assume — no. In truth, it advocates for my sovereignty and my authenticity: an actualization of the sacredness of the value of my life.
It is a difficult statement to speak, after 30 years of feeling shame and being silenced by the lies of others and the loss of my full human rights — and still, it is the truth. The truth must be spoken and heard and cherished — now and always and forever more.
Does this mean ease ahead? Yes. I claim it. For far too long, society has invested so much in the “hard rise,” and the “appreciation of suffering as a tool to validate life.” This time — in this dimension of reality, which I call my true love life — there will always be ease when living one’s truth. Because choice is a gift, given for us to place in the sanctity and sacredness of our love and the value of our lives.
The direct path to success is the only path you’re given: your true life and your true love.
